Why say yes to something that you really mean no too?
Why say you'll do one thing, when really you mean you'll do another?
Why do we do that? To ourselves and to others?!
That is more to myself. But many other people say the same or do the very fact.
Where they say they'll do one thing but really they mean something else, or just keep adding to the old thing and then you lose interest or trust in them because they keep saying they'll do something and really they don't.
My words feel funny, maybe because I feel out of place.
I see so many people happy and enjoying life around me. And I wonder why I can't do the same. Even if its just a lie pr fake. To pretend is better than being true, right?
Because being true is depressing, and no one want that, especially not at Christmas.
So...what to do?
Would they even notice if I left? They haven't noticed that I've stopped talking.
But I can't say that, because they might have their own stuff. And it wouldn't be fair. They've already done so much for me. But sometimes I feel like he doesn't care about me. And others have said I'm scared of him, but I'm not. I love them. I'm just, a bit much for some. And I think that they might not be interested in me.
I need to work on this. I know that my brain is saying lies to me, and I'm believing it. But it's hard, especially as they don't check in.
This is the worst place to talk about my brain
Because they have no idea....
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