Well, I made it. But I don't know what to feel about it yet. I don't know if I made the right decision. Not yet. But I do feel like I have failed, or that I am a kind of embarrassment. But they may just be in my head.
Whilst I write this post, I am sitting in the dark on a blow-up mattress, which I can feel ''defeating'' underneath me. My mind and body are in pain.
I have thrown up, in my mouth. So now I have a bucket near my bed, with a plastic bag to catch my sick.
I am nervous, scared and physically sick, but I know that this decision will give me a new look at life. My life. I will be moving away from family but moving towards family.
I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to help. How do I try and help others, if I can't look after myself?
I am scared, I guess.
But I still, don't know what to say.
Comments