They don't care, they just pretend.....

I am happy but am i really happy. When i go for someone that likes another, and i like another that stil likes another. No one care about me, they just need me for drinks. I hear them having, fun, pretending that I'm still with them. Why do i always chooses those that don't care about me, why not choose the ones that love me. Because i don't know any. I don't show my sadness, to not ruin everyone else new years. Even when I'm doing inside and all i want, is to cry. But they don't care if they just pretend. .