I never thought I would be so excited to return to England. at least not soo soon.
Feeling like I have given up, and lost my way, that I need the comfort of my mum and close family to see what I can truly become. And maybe that is true. I am not a disappointment, I have just taken a minor step back, whilst I see what I can be, to get my life back on track.
So yeah, I am going back!
I am scared, as it isn't for a visit. But also happy, feeling like this is the best decision I could have made for my life.
I have plans. Whether the plans will stick, we will find out.
Job, pay debts off. save money. spend time with my family, who I have missed so much, and I only saw them three months ago.
It is hard. when you're in England, and I miss my Norbey, Noah. And I miss Far, my life in Denmark. even though I am moving to England for my mental health, it won't be forever. Denmark will always be a part of me. including my loved ones here.
When I am in Denmark, I miss my mummy. It is almost heartwrenching.
she is always there for me, and always has been, and when things go bad in my mind, all I want to do is run into her arms, or lay cuddling in bed not saying a word. because she understands, and knows what to do, to help me. makes me feel safe, always.
That is what makes mothers so special. Fathers too.
I adore her. and being away from her, has been hard. especially as I've seen her life rocket hard skywards, and mine plumage into the earth below. She worries, but being so far away, and yet not so far, is hard.
Anyhow, I have moved out of my address in Slagelse. No one send anything to that address. Mine has changed back.
I am currently writing this post on my laptop, with my makeshift bed, in my Far's basement. Before turning the lights out, and wishing for good dreams.
My flight is after lunch on Saturday. This time on Saturday, I will be home, in my mum's arms, feeling safe.
Thank you to those that check out my blog, helps me to not feel so alone. And neither are you.
Night xx
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