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Skipped meals

Writer's picture: Bjørk O'HaraBjørk O'Hara

I've been skipping meals for the last couple of days. It's not because i want to lose weight. Quite the opposite really, I'm just so sad and depressed, that i can't make myself make food, buy food or eat the food.


I lay in bed, sleep til noon, go to bed late, miss out on fresh air. Because i can't get out of my bed. It's almost 4pm, in the afternoon on a Saturday. I've not eaten all day. Missed dinner last night, because i was deep in the darkness that i couldn't help myself out.


I'm still the same as yesterday. And the day before, and the day before, and so on. But for the forst time in a couple of days, I've gotten out of my room, had a nice hot shower. Which turned out to be not such a good idea. Whilst i was having a shower, i felt faint, and sick. That i had to rush my shower, and wrap a towel around me before i was sick in the toilet. I'm sitting on the floor now. Trying to catch my breath.


Next step, taking my time and breathing in and out. I need to get off the floor, brush my teeth, get into my onesie, and making my way down stairs to the kitchen and eat something.


When I'm sad and depressed, but have some energy, i eat to hide my feelings and how I'm feeling.

But when I'm sad and depressed with no energy, at all. I won't eat. I'll skip meals. I'll forget to eat.

Sometimes, I'll make something to eat, and it'll just sit there Infront of me. And i won't eat it. It goes in the bin, or after a long time sitting there, not been eaten, I'll eat some, slowly.

It's a continuous cycle. And i hate it. But can't seem to control anything that happens when I'm depressed.


The sick feel has subsided. But I'm worried if i try and stand up, it'll come back. One step at a time, they say. But it's harder than you'd think.


I'm so hungry. It's like i need to force myself to even nibble at something.

I'm going to try. But it's harder to do something, easier just to say you'll do it. And then not do it.

But if i can do it, anyone can do it, that knows how I'm feeling. We'll do it together.

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