I'm here at work, but never really here. Somewhere else, in another.memory or time in my life.
I'm stuck in the past, reliving everything makes me sick. Mental and physically.
Sometimes i even make my so panicked and stressed and sad, i shake, breath really hard, and panic hard with my eyes darting everywhere.. that i throw up, nothing, just water. and everything I've got inside me.
I don't feel like i can do this anymore. Go on with all this sick in my brain. None of it was my fault, so why do i feel guilty, why am I suffering for what they did to me.
Why? Why do i feel so guilty? But i can never find out, and i don't even think i want to know or talk to them. It just makes me sick. To think about it. But i can't stop thinking about it.
Some people will be talking to me, and i zone out, because I'm so wrapped in the past, and I'm stuck there with every bad thing that ever happened to me. I can't think much about positivity anymore, just negative.
They think I'm ignoring them, but i just can't hear them or get out of the bad times.
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