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Party over...

Writer's picture: Bjørk O'HaraBjørk O'Hara

I guess i spoke to soon.

The party mood improved.

And i wasn't completely alone.

In my mind, I always am.

But, for this evening-night, i was apart of a group.


We had fun, played games, interacted with each other.

We all chose o include one and another.


Maybe this life doesn't need to be a complete sad story.

Although, one night, is only one night.

Some are better than others.

Some are more uplifting at one point, then drowning at another.


Depending on which we chose, and change the course of direction. Which did i chose?

I became a social butterfly, for just a second. It felt good, to be and feel included. To Understand and laugh with others. Sharing memories, and shared experiences with us all.


Time flew by, now i go home, to a room full of me. But very much alone.


I know that i am searching for a new place to live. Especially as I'm no longer interested in sharing the space that i share with two others.

I will be more alone than ever.

But i think what's blocking me meeting others, is that i live with two women, so my brain thinks, "why meet others, when you've got two right here."


The thing is, i want to meet my own friends. Not friends of friends, because I'm new to the area. Or friends that I've met along the way, but haven't stayed In contact with. I want to choose my own friends. And not ones that have been pushed my way.


Does that make any sense?!


I love living in dependent.

My own space. My own cleaning, cooking, washing.


I know that i can do it. Live alone. No matter how sad i get, or depressed i feel. I know tht i can do it. And i will.

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