I hate them! They take the life out of me. When I have them, I feel like I am dying. And I've never died before, so this feeling, is one of the worst that I have ever, ever felt. I can't control my breathing, I have to leave the room, inorder to find some kind of control, and even then, it doesn't always work out the way I want it to.
I shake, sometimes it's just a small one for anxiety and stress and the feeling of failing and I can't do anything about it. I feel that now. I say that I am fine, but I really am not. All I wanna do is joke and laugh, but all I can do is shake, cry and hate myself. If I was at home, I'd be in bed. Coudles from Grandparents. But I'm not!
I'm at work. and I have to pretend that everything is fine, I have to hold myself together, some how. And live another day. Why is this so hard?
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