Whenever I think or have to explain and talk about my depression, it is hard. It's not easy.
The way that I have imagined my darkness, is that I am burying myself in a hole. Morbid I know.
I am stuck in that hole that I dug myself. And there are good days when I can reach to the top and escape. But I can be pulled down, even when I am feeling better, making my way up the light. Could be a second, a small minute, and I could be crushed down. All that hard work trying to grab ahold of the light above. Meant nothing.
And there are days, when I am so deep in that hole, that trying to gain any strength, to even move is hopeless.
I can feel the dirt pounding up and around me. I am covered, head to toe, and there is no way of getting out of it.
I am stuck.
I have heard others talk about their depression, and how they try and explain it all.
One explanation that I liked and could relate to was from 'My mad fat diary.' Yeah I know, what you're going to say, but listen. Because other people may feel the same.
In Ray's explanation, she talks about how she is walking through a forest. Some parts are beautiful and there is so much life, and light. But there are some parts that are dark, scary and stressful. And that is how it is. I really connected with this explanation.
Because like I said, it is sometimes hard to explain. And giving others an idea of what we go through, can help them understand more. Help them know that we are ok, that we will get through this, and that it is hard, but we encourage and accept help and supportiveness.
Although it is not easy accepting that you need help. And by letting others be there for you in ways that you are not strong enough to do for yourselves. It takes time. But I believe that we can all get there.
It will take a lot of time, patience and support. Full of love, light and happiness. That is what I wish for you all. For myself, too.
Comments