Said some words today that I regret, but can never take back.
Because once they are out, no matter how much you apologised, they have been heard.
They are stuck out there, floating in and out of ears and brains,
What have I done? What have I gone and said?
Have I said too much this time?
They forgave me, but will they again if it goes that way?
Will I forgive myself?
No! I don't forgive myself for hurting those I love.
But to save myself, I might need to break some bonds, to fix in the future.
I can't keep looking back, and worrying about everyone else,
Worrying why they are upset, thinking about everyone except myself.
Why don't they care about how I feel, and how much I am in pain?
Can't they see me? Can't they see my pain behind my eyes? Or am I that good at hiding away?
No matter how much I try to explain my actions,
No one understands my doing.
No one cares that I am in so much pain that I feel like I am dying.
I want to talk, but not to you.
No one understands why I had to cut you off,
Why I had to say goodbye,
For now, and maybe for a long time.
Why can't they understand me? Hear it from my side, trust me?
They only look to you, is it because you are the only one that matters to them?
'Along the way of cutting them off, don't break their hearts or hurt them'
Do you think, that cutting them off was easy?
Do you think I did it to be cruel?
Do you think that I thought, 'Yeah, hey, how can I get them back, oh yeah, I know!'
Who do you think I am?!
It was just as hard to cut them off, as it is to be cut off.
Trust me, I know!
It was so hard, this is a person that has been in my life since the beginning.
This person gave life to me.
It was like cutting a part of me off,
But it was the right decision.
I feel lighter,
I feel free,
I feel like I can build my own life up, and live it, without being worried or scared.
I am surrounded by so many good people, I am not alone.
I may feel lonely sometimes, but I know that I am not alone.
And there are so many people who love me for me,
Even without them,
I still have people.
I will put myself first, I will think about myself what I want to do and how I want to live my life. And who will be in it?
Well, that is up to me. I am keeping you, I want you, Drew xx
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