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Bad karma

Writer's picture: Bjørk O'HaraBjørk O'Hara

I feel like my days are numbered. When I think that I am doing better, it blows up in my face. Hard days, hard nights, my brain is foggy. I pushed a friend out of my circle, to keep her safe, away from me. Telling her, 'you'll do better without me!'

Believing myself, to be the truth.

I am getting worse. I panic, have stress attacks and shake like gelly, nonstop. I don't realise that I am doing it at first until it is overboard, and by then, it is hard for me to control it. My anxiety is through the roof. and I have no chance to hold it back and protect others and myself.

Keep it hidden, I say, plaster a smile on your face, you'll do fine!

Don't eat, you'll lose weight quicker.

Don't reach out, it will be too hard.

Stay to yourself, being alone, is just as lonely as being in a group.

Bite down hard, the pain will fade.

Push out everything that is inside you, to clear the air from your lungs.

Hold back those tears, you have to stand tall.


'Be the poster boy, of back karma.'

You think I disappoint, don't worry, I feel the same.

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